That's called "Doubting" and it's a Point Against.

Wham!  A punch lands on the back of my right shoulder. "Slugbug white!" 


My son Trevor can spot a  Volkswagen from two blocks away in the dense fog and, as I have learned that the rules have changed to include all Volkswagens not just the Beetle. In that case you would not have to use the preface "Slugbug".  So yesterday we were driving down the road when I get whacked again and I hear, "Silver one!".  I look around and see Fords, Chevys, Toyotas, and a shiny black Lexus but no Volkswagen.  "Where?", I cried out in protest.  Trevor responded with this:


"Dad, that's called 'Doubting' and its a point against but since you didn't know the rule it won't count against you this time."  

"So you're telling me that I just have to trust that you're telling me the truth when you say, 'Slugbug or silver one'?"


"Yep!"


"Hmmmm"


"That's the rule Dad."


"OK, I won't doubt any more."


"Cool."


OK, I was a "Doubting Thomas" but so was Thomas.  He was the original, the poster child of doubt.  Jesus had appeared to the Apostles in the upper room a week earlier and when they told Thomas he was like, "No way! You guys are full of bologna.  Jesus is dead." (My paraphrase).  The NIV translates it this way:


"Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!" But he said to them, "Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe it." (John 20:24-25)


A week later, with Thomas now in the room, Jesus entered and said to him, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe." Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!" Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."


It's kind of like Peter, James, John, and Thomas are driving along with Thomas in the front passenger seat when Peter (the aggressive one) punches Thomas in the arm and exclaims, "Jesus!" and Thomas says, "Where?"  Peter says, "That's called 'Doubting' and it's a point against but I won't count this one against you because you didn't know the rule."


I know it's hard to believe in Jesus and have faith especially when you can't see him and even more difficult when the road you're on is treacherous and you are afraid.  I understand that there are times when you look around and you see no sign of God (at least you don't notice them) but this is where faith comes alive.  You don't need faith to walk ahead when you are healthy, your bank account is full, your stomach is full, and everyone thinks you're something special but when you're holding the biopsy results, watching your spouse move out, or seeing the bank take back your home that's when Jesus' words mean something more.


I don't want to be trite and discount the fear, anxiety, and even despair that comes in these desert times.  I have been in a few myself.   But I know that God is God 24/7 and his Word is true.  I know that the Apostles suffered and had times of severe testing.  I know Jesus cried out from the cross, "My God, my God.  Why have you forsaken me?"  But I also know that in the end "All thing will work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose."  Jesus said, "Stop doubting and believe."  In rough seas Jesus calmed the waves and in death told Lazarus to "Come out!".


If you feel like you got punched in the arm (or maybe in the head) and you are looking around for Jesus but can't seem to see him I want to pray for you today:


"Lord, today (Insert your name)  can't seem to see you and is afraid, tired, and maybe even full of despair.  Please give him (or her) a fresh portion of faith today.  Let (your name) spiritually feel the nail marks in your hands and the hole in your side.  Place a solid rock beneath his (or her) feet and grant him (or her) grace sufficient for the day.  Give (your name) sunshine in the darkness, living water in the desert, and hope in the storm.  Help (your name) to see any sin that may be hindering their relationship with you and give him (or her) the humility and strength to repent.  Hear (your name's') cries and even if he (or she) can't form the words of a prayer I trust you know exactly what (your name) needs.  Thanks in advance for your faithfulness even when we say, "Where?".


In Jesus name.  Amen.


Peace (your name),


David

Cancelled Flights and a Floundering Faith

I'm kind of tired tonight and I had a fairly long week and a half. I won't complain a whole lot but I want to share something that God taught me, especially in the past two days. I don't really trust Him. I mean I trust God but don't really TRUST Him. Now I don't have a big life-changing challenge that brought me to this revelation, just a small series of struggles, fears, and setbacks.

So, it's Friday at 1 PM and I'm planning to fly to Philadelphia to pick up my fourteen year old daughter. My flight leaves at 4 PM. I log onto notthebestairline.com to check the status of my fight. "Flight 2731 CANCELLED". Ugh! So I pick up the phone and wait thirty minutes on hold listening to the "Not The Best Airline theme song". I spend the next fifteen minutes trying to speak rationally to an automated attendant who can't understand my request for a human agent. Finally I get routed to a very unhappy woman who told me that I wasn't going anywhere that night. I felt myself becoming frustrated, angry, and then it hit me: Was God aware of this situation? Did God say that, "All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose"? If I have been walking with Him, am I not under his divine care? A peace came upon me and I thought, "It's all good, God is in control and it's all for a purpose." I pick up the phone and call the robotic attendant and work my way to a much nicer man who tells me, "Of course I can get you to Philly. I'll put you on amuchbetterairline.com and you'll be there on time!"

Well, aren't I good! See how my really good faith worked out! I am growing in my faith! I make the flight, land in Philly, walk to the hotel, get to my room and plug in my laptop. I log onto notthebestairline.com to check my return flight in the morning with my daughter. "CANCELLED"!!!! OK David, keep it together. God is in control, remember? Breathe. I'm good here. I'll just call the robot guy again and we'll get this all worked out. Half an hour on hold, fifteen minutes with Robot Joe and finally to a real guy who tells me that even though the flight was booked through his airline it was being served by anevenworseairline.com and that I'd have to work it out with them. Dial the new number, wait fifteen minutes on hold then get to speak to a lady who must have been having a worse day than I was. She told me that guy number one was wrong and she then preceded in the middle of my sentence to forward my call back to the first airline. Twenty more minutes on hold then I decide to pick up the cell phone and call unhappy lady number two (have I lost you yet?) while I'm on hold. I get a nicer lady this time who told me she could fly me to Denver and then back to Grand Rapids, Michigan. If you have a map, you may want to draw a line from Philly to Denver then to Grand Rapids. I could walk to Michigan faster!

Now I'm forgetting that I am a Christian and I want to go to the airport and spray paint "Don't Fly Me" on the side of their airplane. Then it hits me. I don't really trust him. Every time I think I do, he lets me get in just a bit deeper, and time and time again I break. I can hear his voice,"David, do you trust me when it seems like things aren't going right? Do you trust me when you can't make sense of things? David, learn to trust me." I calm down and put down the can of spray paint (OK, I didn't really have the can of paint). I get on Travelocity and in three minutes find two one-way tickets to Grand Rapids for way less than my phone bill. Done deal.

In the morning I get on the plane with my daughter and for a few minutes it gets a bit bumpy. "David, do you trust me now? What if the plane goes nose down?" Here is the thing. I'm not saying that we shouldn't have emotions but either God loves those he has redeemed or he doesn't. Either God is all powerful and in control or he isn't. You know what, the turbulence was OK. My heart felt OK and I heard what Moses heard from the Lord, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." I cried out to Jesus the same words spoken by a man who had a boy with evils spirits, "I do believe; help me overcome by unbelief!" God is working on my faith. He is weeding out unbelief in me and I don't like the process. But it is good! Really good.

Now, I understand that cancelled flights and poor customer service isn't cancer or a repossessed home but if God isn't in control in the small things how in the world can we trust him when our world comes apart? God also has a way of putting us in our place when we need a fresh sense of perspective. As I was going through security I met a man with a prosthesis for a left leg and a large scar on his left arm. We chatted and he told me of how the IED exploded near him in Iraq and blew his leg off then the insurgents tried to finish him off with a rifle shot to the arm. He told me that the explosion that took his leg didn't hurt but the gunshot to the arm hurt like heck. He spoke with a humble smile and a sense of pride and joy. I thought to myself, "God, please give me a faith to believe even if it ever gets that bad." I thanked the man for his service to our country and then thanked God for the lesson.

Peace and faith (real, "I know God is in control" faith),

David