I sat here for quite a while struggling with myself, debating whether of not to broach the subject on my heart. It's immensely sensitive yet I know that God wants me to journey down this road. Where do I start? What do I say? What do I not say? God I need some help. The phone rings. It's my brother in the Lord who says, "Can I pray?" Of course! Of course the phone rang. That's the way God works. He prayed, I listened, and the Lord gave me both peace and also a covering of his protection. God is good. So here we go.
About a thousand years before Christ, Solomon eloquently wrote the words and then in 1965 the Byrds sang about them:
"There is time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die . . . a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance . . . a time to be silent and a time to speak."
Paul told us to "mourn with those who mourn"
Sometimes (like when we see someone who has lived ninety-three full years, retired after a successful career, and the great grandfather of a small city of children) death is somewhat palatable and maybe even welcome. We can wrap our minds around the words "a time to die". But sometimes it just doesn't go down so well. Today we mourn together. Even though this blog may be reaching you in Michigan or in India, Australia, or anywhere else on the globe we can all agree that when a seventeen year old boy takes his own life in a moment of despair we can't help but mourn. It happens every day somewhere but when it reaches into your home or even close to your home it eats a whole in your heart. My heart today has a whole in it and I want to tell Stephen's family that we love them, God loves them, and so do people around the world who they've never met. Death bites. But it's not the final word.
So what now? What about the rest of us who say, "Why?" What about the young people who are secretly struggling with despair right now who think they have no hope, those who have contemplated such a thing? What about the college girl who has been taught that she's the random product of time and chance, she came from nowhere, and will end up nowhere? What about the churches who want to do a quiet little memorial thing but then stop there?
I've heard people say that "nothing good can come from this." but I think that the God I worship isn't on his throne confused and defeated. The bible reminds us that, whether we believe it or not, the devil prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour. He has taken some chunks out of me in the past and I'm sure he hasn't left you unscathed. But God gives us the assurance that whatever Satan intends for evil God will use for the good. Does that bring comfort to those who mourn? Likely not, at least not now. Did it bring comfort to the sisters of Lazarus or to the Apostles grieving at the foot of the cross? Likely not. Never the less, it is true and when we are in rough seas we have to cling to a life ring and the life ring we cling to is the truth. The truth isn't a what, it's a who. It is Christ.
I could write a book here and I have to be brief (maybe a book is on the horizon) but I want to touch on three things here.
1) Why? Why did this happen?
2) How? How could God allow this to happen?
3) What? So, what are you (we) going to do about it?
Why?
Exactly why we will never know but it's clear that there was a moment (likely building up over time) of despair. A moment when it seemed like there was no way out, no end in sight to the pain, no hope. Seems hard to believe in a young man with such a great family, with great athletic talent, a loving church family, and a bright academic future but ultimately none of that will hold you up if your head and your heart are in pain. Trust me, I've been down that road. I had all of those things and more but when the road seemed like a dead end, I found myself contemplating the same thing. I wanted out.
Yesterday, I wanted to find something in the Word of God that would address this because my words will always fall woefully short and when I opened the Bible these words seemed like a answer to my plea:
Isaiah chapter 40:28-31
"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will sore on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Youths growing tired and weary. Young men stumbling and falling. Seems like a growing trend today. I don't want to aim the answer to the "why?" directly at this particular instance because only God knows the answer but ultimately when someone grows weary enough they have the potential to not only stumble but maybe even fall. When our hope lies in something other than God we will always be let down. When we put our hope in a job, a relationship, money, our talents, or anything else we will always fall short. If we put all of our weight on one of those things and it comes out from under us we may fall. The bible says that Jesus is the rock on which we must stand and everything else is sinking sand. We are in a spiritual battle here friends! This isn't just a social or psychological issue. Ephesians 6 reminds us that we battle not flesh and blood but "but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Our battle then has to be spiritual in nature and we can't just go at this from a worldly point of view. Dr. Phil can't fix this.
How?
How could God allow this? This is, again, the topic of a 300 page book but there is one answer that seems solid. God loves us enough to allow us free will. God gives us a choice. Many choices. Love requires the ability to choose. I have made many really bad choices and, as I said earlier, I nearly made the same choice Stephen did. In the Book of Deuteronomy Moses writes these words:
"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life . . ."
Sometimes we choose wrong. We live in a fallen world.
What?
What are we going to do about it? I think this is the only question of the three that we can answer satisfactorily and I think it is the place where something good can come from this. We can use religion as a bandage and a tool of consolation but if Jesus is the way and the truth and the life, if he conquered death at the cross, if those who believe will rise to everlasting life then it seems like we need to do all we can do to lead people to him. When we cling to Jesus there is always hope. That includes those of us who grieve today. When we know him death loses its sting.
When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory." "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" (1 Corinthians 15)
Am I satisfied with this post? Nope. But I know that death isn't the victor and is not the final word. I know that God is ALWAYS in control even when the sea wants to swallow us whole. I know that I will not rest as long as our young people cling to the world and live in hopelessness. I know that many will have things to say here and I welcome you to do the same. If you have been touched personally by this horrible thing I want to say "I am so very sorry" If you are reading this from somewhere else in the world please pray fervently for Stephen's family and friends. I will do the same.
In Christ (our blessed hope),
David
